Finding Yourself

Every once in a while in life you get a reminder that everyone has 500 day sprees of finding parts of themselves that they didn't know existed. Sometimes its through pain, sometimes it's through joy. But either way there comes a morning you wake up feeling sure of what you were never sure of before.

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Judgemental Driving

So this may be a little known fact about me, but I have road rage. It's not really extreme but I have no patience with other drivers and I often catch myself judging other drivers over simple things. Such as what lane of traffic they are in, or which lane they decide to turn into. It's probably not super apparent, but something that if you drove with me often (which no one does by the way) you would probably notice. Tonight was a good example of this problem of mine, there was a car in front of me that turned into a turning lane to a road that in my mind seems to lead no where. As I watched this car I mumbled under my breath something about "Do you even know where you are going, or are you lost? Cause that kind of goes no where important." Than I thought about it for a second and realized, maybe their home is on that road, maybe they are going to visit a loved one. Maybe they are headed to a best friends house, in all of those cases it would be a road to somewhere im...

Keeping Memories for Yourself

In my last blog post I talked about enjoying, remembering and relishing the details of your life, this has become more and more real to me through out the summer, because the last year of my life has been one of the greatest blessings I have ever received. Almost exactly one year ago today I was working in retail in a clothing store called DressBarn, contrary to how it sounds they actually have really cute clothes, and despite everything I did like work there. I also knew there was a lot missing in my life. I had fun coworkers, I had some awesome customers that I loved, but I felt pent up and frustrated a majority of the time. I have always wanted to be a mother, I am LDS so a huge focus in culture and life is the family. I lived about 125 miles from my family and mostly just saw them over Holidays because I didn't have money for the travel back and forth, and I didn't want my parents to feel like they had to pay for the gas. I wasn't dating anybody or even...

Warmth and Love

The past few days it has really hit me how much grief and loss affect each of us in our lives. No matter how much those around us seem to have it all together there is a great chance there is something that they are grieving in their life. In September my family almost lost my mom, she has always struggled with kidney stones and due to some oversight she ended up in the ICU with sepsis. For days I waited at home unable to do anything to help feeling almost crippled by the pain and fear that I might lose her. One night I went up and laid on her bed and wound up a music box and cried. I didn't want my younger brothers to see me completely fall apart so I stayed in my parents room until I had nothing left to cry. My mom recovered and was able to return home, but even now 5 months later there are moments I can still see that she is still healing from the experience. I know looking inward on my heart that I sometimes feel flashes of the fear creep back in, and that in my ow...

365 days for you

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