The past few days it has really hit me how much grief and loss affect each of us in our lives. No matter how much those around us seem to have it all together there is a great chance there is something that they are grieving in their life.
In September my family almost lost my mom, she has always struggled with kidney stones and due to some oversight she ended up in the ICU with sepsis. For days I waited at home unable to do anything to help feeling almost crippled by the pain and fear that I might lose her. One night I went up and laid on her bed and wound up a music box and cried. I didn't want my younger brothers to see me completely fall apart so I stayed in my parents room until I had nothing left to cry.
My mom recovered and was able to return home, but even now 5 months later there are moments I can still see that she is still healing from the experience. I know looking inward on my heart that I sometimes feel flashes of the fear creep back in, and that in my own way I am still healing from the experience. I know that fear doesn't do anyone any good and that really the best any of us can do is live our lives as fully as we know how.
I do know that walking away from this experience I gained a compassion that I had never had before. I've lost people before, people I loved; I've lost grandparents as most people have, I've lost pets. I lost my sister in law (Kyra Lambson) who died shortly before my divorce, and I lost my husband not to death but it felt very similar. These experiences were nothing comparing to the feelings I had when I thought my mother was dying.
Now looking around me I see so many that know that feeling, I have a beautiful girl I work with in the Young Women program in my church who lost her mother a year ago at a very young age. Recently i read on Facebook about a friend who had lost his mother recently. Someone I used to serve with in Church lost her father. My heart has ached for the people around me, wishing I could sooth the intense pain that I know they must be feeling.
There are many ways this pain comes into our lives, but it's so important to remember that we may not have a way to take away the pain but we have the power to comfort and help those around us when they are in pain. I've realized that in the darkest moments of our lives it's not positivity that turns things around, it's warmth and compassion. It's kindness and reaching out to those around us. I read a research article a while ago that said human connection is one of the strongest things that have been found to combat depression, anxiety and addiction; possibly stronger than any drug sold in any pharmacy.
To me that is amazing that we, as imperfect and flawed as we are, have within us something that is stronger than any drug created. We have the ability to lift others help, soothe pain and empower others. That is the thought that helps me face the future, a future that I know holds many challenges and moments of inevitable pain, because we are mortal and pain is part of the journey. But we are not alone in this journey, In D&C 121 there are a few scriptures that come to mind.
In September my family almost lost my mom, she has always struggled with kidney stones and due to some oversight she ended up in the ICU with sepsis. For days I waited at home unable to do anything to help feeling almost crippled by the pain and fear that I might lose her. One night I went up and laid on her bed and wound up a music box and cried. I didn't want my younger brothers to see me completely fall apart so I stayed in my parents room until I had nothing left to cry.
My mom recovered and was able to return home, but even now 5 months later there are moments I can still see that she is still healing from the experience. I know looking inward on my heart that I sometimes feel flashes of the fear creep back in, and that in my own way I am still healing from the experience. I know that fear doesn't do anyone any good and that really the best any of us can do is live our lives as fully as we know how.
I do know that walking away from this experience I gained a compassion that I had never had before. I've lost people before, people I loved; I've lost grandparents as most people have, I've lost pets. I lost my sister in law (Kyra Lambson) who died shortly before my divorce, and I lost my husband not to death but it felt very similar. These experiences were nothing comparing to the feelings I had when I thought my mother was dying.
Now looking around me I see so many that know that feeling, I have a beautiful girl I work with in the Young Women program in my church who lost her mother a year ago at a very young age. Recently i read on Facebook about a friend who had lost his mother recently. Someone I used to serve with in Church lost her father. My heart has ached for the people around me, wishing I could sooth the intense pain that I know they must be feeling.
There are many ways this pain comes into our lives, but it's so important to remember that we may not have a way to take away the pain but we have the power to comfort and help those around us when they are in pain. I've realized that in the darkest moments of our lives it's not positivity that turns things around, it's warmth and compassion. It's kindness and reaching out to those around us. I read a research article a while ago that said human connection is one of the strongest things that have been found to combat depression, anxiety and addiction; possibly stronger than any drug sold in any pharmacy.
To me that is amazing that we, as imperfect and flawed as we are, have within us something that is stronger than any drug created. We have the ability to lift others help, soothe pain and empower others. That is the thought that helps me face the future, a future that I know holds many challenges and moments of inevitable pain, because we are mortal and pain is part of the journey. But we are not alone in this journey, In D&C 121 there are a few scriptures that come to mind.
7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
9 Thy friends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
Even if your not religious I feel these verses have a lot of comfort to give to a broken or mourning heart. I know that we are not alone in this life even when we feel like we are. I know from experience that when we reach out to each other we will feel considerably less alone, we need each other even when we feel we have nothing to give. I've learned that even when I think I am giving nothing I am giving enough when I have helped remove someone else's sadness. It's the times of giving nothing but yourself and your love that you give the most to the people around you.
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