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Becoming

I'm not a perfect person. I've always known this this, I think that most of us do, most people are pretty self-aware of their own imperfections. However every time I make new goals I become painfully aware of just how flawed I truly am.
The point of making goals is not to beat yourself up, but sometimes the reason we do is because we rate ourselves according to our accomplishments. We make goals so that we may accomplish.
I sometimes see goals as binding and it's a fail or thrive choice. I feel that when I come in short it's over, it's done and I'm finished, I couldn't do it, period. I wasn't strong enough, the ref has blown the whistle and the game is over, I lost. Well that my friends is not true, it never has been true, and it never will be true. In fact nothing could be further from the truth.
Goals and challenges are not so much about accomplishing as they are about becoming, and becoming is about day by day leaving small parts of the lesser old you by the wayside. Also it's about slowly day by day picking up something new to refresh and renew you. It's not a weird live version of star treks "Beam me up Scottie." No instantaneous results.
It's a bit more like walking through a meadow slowly picking up the living beautiful flowers, while learning to let go of the old dying flowers, no matter how sentimental. The dying things of your past can weight you down and start to stink, while the new fresh and living things of your present and future will bring life, light and beauty.
Life is not about perfectly changing and becoming something new. But about perfectly letting go of the need to fight off change and being perfected.
You usually don't wake up to see yourself as someone shiny and new, usually its a day at a time of letting go of something dying and old inside of you enough to embrace something new.

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