Skip to main content

If I Stay

We all reach moments when we have given it our all, we have done everything we know how to do, and have worked until we feel worn out. Sometimes when we get to that point we feel a great sense of accomplishment being able to see just how far we have come, sometimes we feel a loss at what to do next. It's like we have done all we know how to do and we simply don't know what comes next.
I feel somewhat like I have hit that point like I have given my best and now I am not exactly sure what is left and where to go with it. 
A little while back I went to the movies with a friend to see a new movie that had been released. It had made it big as a book and so far had gotten great reviews as a movie. I went to the theater to see that movie, but strangely it was not the film that left the biggest impact. Although it was moving and very meaningful, what caught my attention more was a two minute preview that had people crying before the featured movie had even started. This clip is part of the inspiration to this particular Blog post; If I Stay.
In every persons life I there is a point where you must make a call, is the life you are living right now what you need to stay and fight for, or is it time to let it go and move on. There is something about a clean slate that is refreshing, but there is something about the past that is comfortable and warm.
It is up to us do we want to stay, or do we want to go? Most of the time we don't know.
That's when you just have to take a leap, if I stay I am surrounded by people I love who love me, but I am also am tucked comfortably in my comfort zone and that's no place to spend the rest of your life. If you choose to stay somewhere you need to find a purpose and a need, something to consecrate yourself to. Some people you meet in life seem to already have a sense of being exactly who they are meant to be, and it's not so much that they have already arrived, but that they are constantly arriving. They find some way of daily continuing further into who and where they want to be.
I can't stay in one place, I need growth and when run out of depth where you are sometimes you just need to close your eyes, let yourself feel for a moment then take a leap into the great unknown. I don't always know who I am, or who I supposed to be, but I'm constantly searching and becoming. I've realized if I stay I need a reason, a depth and a purpose. And right now there's not. So I am taking a leap, my eyes are closed, I'm feeling my way and I am leaping.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Judgemental Driving

So this may be a little known fact about me, but I have road rage. It's not really extreme but I have no patience with other drivers and I often catch myself judging other drivers over simple things. Such as what lane of traffic they are in, or which lane they decide to turn into. It's probably not super apparent, but something that if you drove with me often (which no one does by the way) you would probably notice. Tonight was a good example of this problem of mine, there was a car in front of me that turned into a turning lane to a road that in my mind seems to lead no where. As I watched this car I mumbled under my breath something about "Do you even know where you are going, or are you lost? Cause that kind of goes no where important." Than I thought about it for a second and realized, maybe their home is on that road, maybe they are going to visit a loved one. Maybe they are headed to a best friends house, in all of those cases it would be a road to somewhere im...
Post a Comment
Read more

it's simple

I'm a mess sometimes, actually it's not just me, it's life. Life is messy, it's emotional, and because we go so much by emotion, logic flees the scene. Sometimes that what makes things messy is when we either use our head or our heart, and somehow when I start using both of them life gets a little less messy and a bit more sensical (if that's even a word, it is now, I'm running with it) its the balance of your head and heart that bring things together. I don't really ever listen to me own advice, like ever. I am fantastic at giving great advice, I think I would make a fabulous relationship advisor, however it has completely escaped on how to make my own relationships flourish. However I have gotten very good at something else, breathing (yup that is my secret, the cat is out of the bag) breathing. When nothing else makes ensemble and everything is falling apart, breathing makes a hug difference, we'll it better, without it we would die, so yeah I would ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Keeping Memories for Yourself

In my last blog post I talked about enjoying, remembering and relishing the details of your life, this has become more and more real to me through out the summer, because the last year of my life has been one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.     Almost exactly one year ago today I was working in retail in a clothing store called DressBarn, contrary to how it sounds they actually have really cute clothes, and despite everything I did like work there. I also knew there was a lot missing in my life. I had fun coworkers, I had some awesome customers that I loved, but I felt pent up and frustrated a majority of the time.     I have always wanted to be a mother, I am LDS so a huge focus in culture and life is the family. I lived about 125 miles from my family and mostly just saw them over Holidays because I didn't have money for the travel back and forth, and I didn't want my parents to feel like they had to pay for the gas. I wasn't dating anybody or even...
Post a Comment
Read more