There is a two headed serpent that exists in my life right now, or a two blade sword. I have not figured out for certain which of the two it is, but I know that there are two sides and the border that separates them is decision.
In life we like to think that there is a right and a wrong to every question, or scenario or every life situation. I think we find it calming to see that there is one thing that will be correct and if chosen it will bring as a secure feeling of being right and safe. And when there's not a right choice, we almost feel lost knowing that it is now up to us to analyze the situation and figure out what we want, and it is now in our hands to be happy with what we choose.
When I choose something that I know was right, it's like I have something to hold on to, to reassure myself when it gets hard. I can tell myself that I know what I did is right. However when I know that there isn't a right answer, really the balance is held in my hands. I don't have that perfect knowledge and reassurance when it gets hard, its my choice, there is somewhat of a panic moment that ensues.
. . . .Like right now, yup I have some choices in front of me that are definitely inducing somewhat of a panic coma. I am fine, and I am going to be fine and I know that. I just also know that giving the blame to someone else or trying to blame circumstancing are not an option. I have to choose to not regret whatever it is I end up choosing. Choice, our power to choose, that is the double edge sword or two headed serpent. because when it comes down to it no matter what kind of choice it is there are two results, you learn and grow from it and you rejoice over what you've seen and felt as a result, or you keep doubt in the back of every thought wondering if you know what you really do want and if you know how to be happy with the choices you've made.
Well I know this, that as long as I am giving it my all and doing the best I can with my limited human perceptions, God wont let me completely mess up my life, he finds ways of making things okay, and eventually great. He doesn't take choice away, it's just as present as ever but he either enables us to make the right decision, or he strengthens us to make it right. As long as we are listening to the one giving the directions, we are going to be fine. We just need to listen.
In life we like to think that there is a right and a wrong to every question, or scenario or every life situation. I think we find it calming to see that there is one thing that will be correct and if chosen it will bring as a secure feeling of being right and safe. And when there's not a right choice, we almost feel lost knowing that it is now up to us to analyze the situation and figure out what we want, and it is now in our hands to be happy with what we choose.
When I choose something that I know was right, it's like I have something to hold on to, to reassure myself when it gets hard. I can tell myself that I know what I did is right. However when I know that there isn't a right answer, really the balance is held in my hands. I don't have that perfect knowledge and reassurance when it gets hard, its my choice, there is somewhat of a panic moment that ensues.
. . . .Like right now, yup I have some choices in front of me that are definitely inducing somewhat of a panic coma. I am fine, and I am going to be fine and I know that. I just also know that giving the blame to someone else or trying to blame circumstancing are not an option. I have to choose to not regret whatever it is I end up choosing. Choice, our power to choose, that is the double edge sword or two headed serpent. because when it comes down to it no matter what kind of choice it is there are two results, you learn and grow from it and you rejoice over what you've seen and felt as a result, or you keep doubt in the back of every thought wondering if you know what you really do want and if you know how to be happy with the choices you've made.
Well I know this, that as long as I am giving it my all and doing the best I can with my limited human perceptions, God wont let me completely mess up my life, he finds ways of making things okay, and eventually great. He doesn't take choice away, it's just as present as ever but he either enables us to make the right decision, or he strengthens us to make it right. As long as we are listening to the one giving the directions, we are going to be fine. We just need to listen.
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